‘Finding Myself’, image taken at Tybee Island, Georgia, June 2016. Copyright Mary Michelle Scott 2016- All rights reserved.
To me, those words are scarier than the words “facing your fears”. This past six months these two words have filled my existence sucking the life out of me, to the point that I really didn’t think I could keep going on.
In December 2015 my blood pressure starting running 225/125 and the doctors were unable to bring it down lower than 150/100 for 4 months, and were unsuccessful in finding the cause.
During this time I experienced a TIA (mini stroke), a warning sign that bigger problems were heading my way. After being put on handfuls of pills,
they finally brought it down.
After a month of well behaved blood pressure, it was too far down, 90/55 for several weeks, and I ended up having a full stroke after it spiked extremely high again one afternoon.
I was very lucky, and did not suffer any long term effects from the stroke, but now I truly have to face the fact that I must face myself, and find myself, and make these lifestyle changes, before the next one hits. Not easy for a stubborn 50 year old– mom of three grown men, wife, full-time Radiation Therapist, photographer, and basic human being who is like everyone else- trying to find myself in this crazy journey of life.
So, self discovery begins. So far it is making me defensive and uncomfortable, studying the truth of myself, and the changes that I need to achieve. Only, because I feel that I have failed myself and that, perhaps, I was a little hard headed (ok, for those that know me- a LOT hard headed) about many things in my life.
So, my first step is to simply keep trying to find myself, and to find the joy in life, and to hopefully share that joy with people around me.
Mary Michelle Scott